A Slow Motion Emergency

First you have to indulge me a few photos of my cutie. He melts my heart. Even after forty-five years together I get a zing when I see him.

How did this bypass surgery come about? For one thing it was not an emergency. Everything unfolded with a calm pace of “Okay, we have to do this next thing.” All through this story the Divine protected, gave grace, and just plain held us in love. It is a delight to feel such loving care from God, the Universe, The Ground of All Being.

Rod has been treated for high blood pressure for years. He had a stress test a year ago and it was time for another one. On Monday March 23 he went in for that. Later that afternoon the doctor called and said they’d like to do an angiogram, and possibly put in a stent. That was scheduled for Tuesday March 31. In the meantime if Rod felt anything he was to go to the emergency room to be safe.

This left us nearly a week to figure things out. We asked Zach to come down from Portland. Here’s the thing, I had a big trip planned. On Sunday March 29 I was taking off for Edinburgh and then on to Iona for Easter week. We figured Zach could stay with his dad for a few days while he recovered from the angiogram. Easy Peasy. Rod thought my leaving was fine. We all agreed.

Sunday morning March 30 Rod woke up feeling funny. As advised we took him to the emergency room. After a morning of tests and blood work they decided to admit him. “We will just keep him until his angiogram on Tuesday. It’s the easiest thing to do.” Okay. Rod was feeling fine and well supported so I went to the airport and flew to Scotland. We agreed this was an okay thing to do.

There was room on the schedule to do the angiogram on Monday March 30. They found that oops a stent is not going to fix this problem they would need to do a triple bypass. (BTW, the number of bypasses is not the big deal, one or four it’s kinda the same). They put Rod on the schedule of Wednesday when the best surgeon was available.

He was in the hospital under good care. If anything had gone wonky he was right where he needed to be. I on the other hand was a little out of reach. With the timing of the surgery there was not time to get back to Rod’s bedside before the surgery. We talked about it and decided it was not essential for me to be there to hold his hand. I’d be there afterward and when he was ready to come home. I’d leave Edinburgh and be home on Friday.

When I was growing up my dad had a brain tumor and died at 49. I spend my fifteenth year in hospitals a lot and that left a trauma mark. I was spared reliving that with Rod because Zach stepped up and was in place to see his dad when he got out of surgery and into ICU. Guess in a way I’m passing that trauma along. But at 32 I think Zach might be better equipped than I was at 15. I also think my not being there was easier for Rod. He didn’t have to worry about me and how I’d react. He didn’t have to fake feeling better than he was. He could concentrate on himself.

I think not seeing Rod in ICU was a Divine gift. I was taken care of. Instead I was in Edinburgh filling my cup of joy. Because I was going to come home to full time caregiving I had time off to look at art, walk the city, browse a book store, and purchase yarn! It sounds callus to some but this was the right decision for our family. We were held in grace and love and each of us given what we needed to come through this situation.

Rod came through the surgery well. He was in the hospital for a week. Now he is home and moving slowly but doing all the recovery things right on schedule. It will be weeks of care and months of time before he feels back to himself again. In the meantime he’s in good spirits and quite himself: clever, witty and able to take a nap when necessary. Same old guy.

Joys to be counted:

Listening to your body and getting care when needed.

Having stellar medical care and insurance to pay for it all.

The distraction of a good son who has the time to come for two weeks.

Divine love guiding decisions.

Being an Edinburgh tourist.

Sunshine weather through all the days.

A corner room with windows looking out on Mount Tam while in the hospital.

Limited pain.

All of us have good books to read, a necessary distraction.

Knowing to look for joy!

This list will grow as we continue to discover how blessed we are.