Choir Practice warmed me this week like nothing else can do. Singing with my friends is the balm that heals the end of a long week. Nothing horrible is happening but you know how it is when we get too busy and rush around from one task to another. Everything and nothing seems so important all at once. So to have an evening where I can laugh and sing with people I enjoy is a blessing. The songs we practiced were a collection of old school and upbeat fun. Lines from different verses drift though my head in the days following, such good reminders and wise words. Here see what you think…

In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I’m blessed.

His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me.

If your sky is dark and pouring rain, fall on Jesus.

Conquer my frustrations.

Oh Happy Day!

You’ve seen it in a knitter’s hands: ease of movement. They seem to know what to do without thinking. Now you want that secret too. But the learning curve looks steep. You may have started down this road before and found it frustrating. But those knitters you watched looked like they were having such a good time.

Take a deep breath. Pick a favorite color from all the yarn choices. Find pointy sticks that fit your hands. Feel the nervous excitement of a new adventure. You will be tempted to compare and contrast what other knitters are doing with what is happening on your needles. Don’t. Concentrate instead on the treasure in your own hands, the tiny stitches forming right under your fingertips. First steps are slow but what’s the hurry?

Knitting creates wonderful things you can give to others: scarves, hats, gloves, even a sweater or two. Once the tangle of learning is over another gift emerges. Knitting offers you grace, peace, calm, comfort. You pick the word it comes to every knitter when fumbling fingers find their rhythm and stitches become automatic.

A smile break across your face, “I get it.” A stitch slides into place just as it is supposed to and then another and another. And oops one got away. But for a moment there you did it. Exciting. You try again.

Your first scarf is a wobbly affair. But you love it and are proud of it, even as you point out every mistake to anyone who touches it. You are hooked, yet not sure why since it was so frustrating sometimes. Every mistake caused panic. You searched for someone to help fix it. However watching the fabric form is soothing.

A whole new world opens up. Knitting calms a stressful day. It gives you a cozy feeling found only in the wool on your needles. You watch stitches cross from left to right like counting rosary beads. Finally knitting is joyful. You have a quiet place to be. Some knitters fill this space with prayer or mediation. Others breathe deep and soak up the peaceful break from their busy lives. Time alone with needles and thoughts is the gift knitting offers you.

But knitting can be loud and bossy too. You might discover knitting in community at your local yarn shop knit night. This is knitting as a celebration. Friendships form through fiber and fun. Patterns are discussed and mistakes puzzled out. Finding others as delighted by yarn as you is a joy.

Whether you are quiet with your own knitting pleasures or gathered in a boisterous group this craft offers you something your soul needs: a spot to rest. Alone you find rhythms that soothe and calm. Together you find community that nurtures and helps you grow. Both are valuable. You will see, just as soon as you climb the learning curve and take a peek at the other side.

You need spring foam pans to make cheesecake. It’s a must.  You have to have a jack to change a car tire. No other way to do it. The right tool for the job makes all the difference. I learned that this week.

I started my first piece of real lace. I cast on with confidence using US size 5s. It went okay. But I knew it would be easier if I got some lace tip needles. But addi turbos are $17! A bit pricey for knitting needles. It made me think twice. Do I really need these? Comparing them to my regular needles the difference is so slight. The tip is barely smaller. The point is barely sharper. And they are the same length as my other perfectly good US size 5s. I hesitated. But I really want this lace project to go well and I know these needles will help. I bought them.

The difference was immediate. The fraction of an inch let me slip my needles into every k2tog and ssk with ease. I actually got a little faster knitting along. Now my only worry is chart reading not fussing with my sticks to make them work properly.

I started thinking how many times I “make due.” When I could get the right tool for the job and make life easier. Simple things sometimes: I rip apart yarn instead of getting scissors. I grab a bite over the sink instead of getting out a plate. I marshal on instead of seeking wise counsel. Okay that last one seems like a leap I know but here’s what I mean.

I stew in my own crazy thoughts. If I need to sort out a problem my first thought is not seeking help. I try and wrestle an answer on my own. Sometimes I can figure out what’s wrong but the hours of worry involved are not really worth it. How much easier it would have been to get the right tool for the job: to ask for help.

Help can come in lots of forms. Asking for a ride or a meal or feed my cat. Or the bigger ask, I am lost in this mess can you help me? This last one is the best place to ask God. “Seek and you will find. Knock and it will be opened.” Ask. I know some will say “But I don’t always get answers that way. “And that is a whole other debate. What I’m talking about here is the discipline of asking. The reminder to find the right tool for the job, to reach out and hold God’s hand when you are really stuck.

I love libraries. I live in a county where you can get a book seven days a week from 10 AM to 9 PM. That is fantastic! Borders may have closed but the local library is still dispensing books.

I love the hush of the library, and the comfy chairs. I love to wander the stacks. You never know what treats will pop out at you. I’ve found old knit books and biographies of interesting people I’ve never heard of. I’ve “discovered” novels I love just because they were on the shelf next to whatever I was after in the first place. And I could never subscribe to all of the magazines I like to pursue at the library. I also love to listen to the librarian help kids find books. Hearing her speak of titles I remember fondly reading aloud to my kidlet.

The library is a favorite place. I even check out libraries when we travel. Each one seems to have the inviting feel of home. They are a place where communities can gather. You can get info you need as well as escape from the everyday to a worlds you never knew existed.

Enjoy a visit to your local library soon.

The Rolling Stones are stuck in my head this week.

“You can’t always get what you want.

You can’t always get what you want.

You can’t always get what you want.”

And I stop there. I harp on the negative and moan about a situation and don’t move on to the rest of the chorus where the good stuff is:

“But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need.”

Oh yeah, the good stuff. Taking a deep breath and finding there is another way out, or just getting comfortable with the mess the way it is. The Stones said it simply and with poetry. You can find what you need if you look.

Here is hoping you can take a deep breath in the middle of whatever is bugging you and see a way out, or at least get comfortable with the mess. It’s much easier said then done but really worth your time.

“But if you try sometimes well you might find

You get what you need.”

When I started to go gray at 38ish I was fascinated. It was kinda cool to see my hair change and grow in a new color. But the fun only last a year or so. I colored my hair back to brunette. Ten years later I was done. I wanted to see what my hair really looked like under that “natural” brunette I’d been holding onto for so long. I could see gray peeking out. I assumed I was gray from ear to ear and front to back. And while that was true I was still brunette on top. So when I finally let it all come in I looked like I had highlights. Well old lady highlights anyway. It was okay; gray hair was not going to “kill” me.

I did not have the same fascination with hot flashes when they started two years ago. In fact I was down right annoyed. There is no controlling them like graying hair. You can’t just take off a layer of skin and feel cooler. You have to wait it out. And I’m told they can come and go for a decade more or less. Grand.

Yesterday I had 11 hot flashes in one day. Yes I kept track it was weird after about four. I decided I would have to think about them differently. I am reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I’ve just cracked the surface really but the basic idea is to adopted an attitude of gratitude, in all things, to find the good in every thing. Hmmm. I’ll give it a try.

It was easy to find the good in sunny days and even rainy days since we need the moisture. I was thankful for neat stories on the radio, sweet juicy oranges, afternoon naps, even grocery shopping since I’d bought delicious food to prepare. But I was having trouble thinking of anything good about hot flashes.

Then today I had a glimmer. Today I thought it is rather cool that my body is going haywire like this. It means I am still growing and changing. I am uncomfortable yes, but not for very long (maybe too often but not long). It is expected and yet it is a mystery. Just for today I remembered I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And part of the mystery of being female is hot flashes.

I am a mystery. Now that is kinda cool.

Here are a few things I am happy about today:

• The three perfectly ripe cuties I ate at lunchtime. So sweet, I closed my eyes to savor the taste.

• The sound of the ice cream man’s chimes outside, a reminder of tasty good humor treats from my childhood.

• The quick text reply from my son who told me how to edit photos on my phone.Even 3,000 miles away he can be my tech support. Love that boy.

• The new pile of sock yarn mini skeins. I love playing with all the colors. Time to cast on, always a thrilling moment.

• The full gas tank in my car. It feels like I have the potential to go anywhere!

It has been a weird winter. Here in the San Francisco Bay Area we should have had lots of rain by now. But it’s been very dry. I wished for rainy days of guilt free knitting. You know what I mean. “It’s raining out I will stay in and do a cozy activity like knitting.” Any excuse to disguise how many hours I really want to spend with needles in hand.

And then this week the clouds finally opened. We finally have an accumulation of moisture. I can almost hear the earth saying ahhh as it soaks up all the water. Rain is the topic on everyone’s lips. Folks talk about the inconvenience and yet how much we need it.

My son is home from college this week on Spring Break. Before you feel sorry for him having a raining vacation know that all he really wants is to sleep in and hang out close to the kitchen where all his favorite food are being prepared by your truly. I show love with baked goods.

Zach is our only son and so we are empty nest folk now even though I loathe saying that. I am not nearly old enough—or so it feels—to be in “that season” of life. This freshman year has been adjustment for me. The excitement and pride of sending him off gave way to quiet and melancholy. I missed him.

So I am soaking up time with him home. I am feeling the ahhh of my son. He goes back to school in a few days. But I do not expect storm clouds to cast a shadow over my world; I think I’ll enjoy the spring coming. It has been good to touch base and to see him growing into such a cool young man. It gets easier to send him off when I know he is well and happy.

Not another acronym! Knitting is full of them: KAL (Knit ALong) LYS (Local Yarn Store) WIP (Work In Progress) UFO (UnFinished Object) SSK (Slip Slip Knit). However BSJ was a new one on me.

BSJ Baby Surprise Jacket.  It is the iconic pattern from Elizabeth Zimmerman.  Both the garment and the designer are famous in the knit world. Elizabeth Zimmerman left a mark so deep on knitting we are still taking our cue from her though she passed away in 1999. She was such a famous knitter her passing was given a full article and obituary in the New York Times. Zimmerman’s motto was “Knit on with confidence and hope, through all crises.” She wrote the book Knitting Without Tears among many others on the craft.

All this power behind the BSJ, it’s like a force of nature, or at the very least a rite of passage to knit one. I had looked at the pattern and honestly couldn’t make sense of it. The BSJ is knit flat and then folded origami style to make the jacket. It is not constructed like anything I’ve ever tried to knit. I gave up quickly.

This month the LYS where I work was having a class to make a BSJ. I signed up. I wanted to master this pattern. I no longer have babies in my life, no pregnant friends or relatives. But it was time for my knitting to come of age.

I signed up and cast on 160 stitches. Nine rows in I ripped the whole thing off the needles and cast on again. Hmmm. Usually I can see where I’m going. I work the sleeves or cuffs or back. With the BSJ everything folds onto itself, as a novice I didn’t know what goes where. The pattern begins with double decreases and gets stranger from there.

I went online to complain to some knit friends. Lovely women that they are I received wise counsel: Trust the pattern and keep going. Huh. Take it on faith that Elizabeth knew what she was doing? Thousands of jackets later I am just one more person to follow her pattern. But… I quit complaining and knit on.

I put increases where they looked bizarre. I added stripes with no idea where they’d be on the finished garment. I pressed on. It was kinda fun actually, the mystery of it all. I was forced to enjoy the journey, for though I knew the outcome I had no idea how I was getting there.

Maybe you’d like to step out and enjoy the journey. Try a new and challenging pattern, or perhaps step back and just work on the task in front of you rather than worry about the final outcome. The Baby Surprise Jacket offered me a surprise I never saw coming the surprise of how exciting it is to take it on faith.

5. Rimsky-Korsakov’s Flight of the Bumble Bee

This is for the frenzy of Christmas knitting or when a deadline looms.

4. Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony

When you have a serious mistake to repair or rip out.

3. Beethoven’s Ode to Joy (Ninth Symphony)

This is for those stretches of pleasant knitting hours. No rush just joy.

2. Pachelbel’s Canon in D

Starts slow and picks up speed much like a project going well.

1. Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus

Blast this one for triumphant completion of any project, especially your first one.