Cliches

The wait is over. The bad news arrived. The answer is NO. Ouch. It hurts. Till I actually heard NO I didn’t realize how confident I was about hearing YES. I was sure God’s plan was to let me work where my talents are best utilized. He does have a plan for that very thing to happen but apparently not in the location of my choosing, but His. Bummer!

Here comes the comfort brigade and you know just what they will say, “When God closes a door He opens a window somewhere.” Being on the receiving end of that cliché is as hard as waiting. The trouble with that platitude, so blithely offered, is it hurts like hell to have a door slammed in your face. No one seems to acknowledge that. They have moved on, looking for silver linings and open windows. While I am stuck grieving and pounding on a closed door. I was so close I think my toes got caught in the door. My nose may be swelling from being hit. “NO.” hurts.

Looking down the hall I even see a new open door. I see what the next step might be and still I’m sitting on the mat of the sealed door crying. I want both! I want to run up and down the hall serving, being useful, being appreciated. I want it my way! The door is still locked. It stinks. How long do I get to pout and feel sorry for myself? Can I wallow for a day? Is a week to long? Will the other door close in my face too? I just don’t have the energy to dust myself off today. I’ll go look tomorrow.

Dear Father, I don’t even have a prayer just stay close. Amen.

Posted 9/24/2007 @ 10:48 AM | Weekly Thoughts