Don't Pick It Up

"I don't pick it up and I don't lay it down." Maya Angleou explains her words . . . I don't pick it up when they say you are the most wonderful and how great and blah blah. I don't pick it up because if I do I'd also have to pick it up when they say you are nothing and what happened and you use to be. Elegant words from a woman who knows.

I am looking to follow her advice, I don't want to pick it up. I believe one of the things she means is your opinion of yourself must come from within, you can not rely on outside forces to tell you what you are. It hurts your self esteem. I tote around too many opinions and I'm not selevtive. I carry compliments as well as criticisms. I let the bad wound me and fester. I feast on the good growing fat and complacent. The lure and the loathing of these two keep me stuck trying to figure out who I am by wordly standards rather than growing and maturing. I let others have too much control over my life, growth and happiness.

I am the only one who knows my motives and what is true in my heart. How can I shut out all these other voices? I am tempted to pick up opinions because at any given moment they're true. Scary. Sifting through the ness I find balance when I ask God His opinion. He can quiet the voices. He loves me but he doesn't just rubber stamp me and say you're wonderful. He finds the wonderful in my awful and He knows about the awful in my wonderful. And yet His opinion of me never changes: I am God's beloved daughter.

"I don't pick it up." Like Dr. Angelou I am trying to make sure the opinion I seek is from within. I want to hear God's still small voice. I will pick up His grace willingly.

Posted 3/21/2007 @ 5:22 PM | Weekly Thoughts