I Hate Summer

I hate summer. Really. I hate the taste of watermelon, the feel of chlorine stained hair, and the smell of sweaty bodies. I hate sand in my house, 100° heat and hearing about too many camps and vacations. I hate whiny kids, spoiled kids, sticky kids, bored kids, and kids who can’t play by themselves. I hate the hours of unstructured time. I hate the extra hours of sunlight, days so long they stretch into one another and there’s no excuse to cozy up for the night with a good book. I hate light summer non-cooking, nothing heavy or comforting. I am waiting for sweater weather, a good hard freeze, a crisp day. I am waiting to unfold my collection of turtlenecks, pull on my boots and wear my scrunchie blue hat. I am waiting.

Fall is my season. I like the trappings of fall, the heavy clothes, the heavy food, the deep heavy colors. Shoes and socks trap my feet, hats hide my ears, bowls of steaming soup fill my nose with aromas of harvest and settle into my belly with nourishment. It’s time to once again get comfortable in my own skin, to stop comparing tan lines, flat tummies, and vacation photos.

It has taken my a very long time—my lifetime—to discover, admit and be comfortable saying I hate summer and love winter. It’s not the norm as I see it. It’s hard to be different. It has taken me a very long time—my lifetime—to discover, admit, and try to get comfortable saying I am a Christian. I am not there yet. Sometimes I fake liking summer as when everyone is looking forward to the end of the school year and all I can think is “I’m really going to miss this.” I don’t feel true in those moments. Sometimes I fake it for Christ and it’s even worse. I don’t mean the times I offer service with a grumble, I mean the times I deny him entirely, the moments when tested I don’t claim to be a Christian. The times when I don’t seize the day talk about Christ and how he’s alive in my life. It’s hard to be different and I am still challenged to get comfortable in my Christian skin. I am working on it.

Posted 5/31/2006 @ 7:36 PM | Weekly Thoughts