Starting Over Again

I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. I am currently not at my goal weight. What that means is though I did loose weight and kept if off for nearly three years I am now ten pounds over again. I felt the old habits creeping back into my life. First I ate a bigger after school snack. Then I gave up walking every morning. Next I ate dessert some evenings. Finally I gave up even thinking about weight control at all. I knew I was doing it but it didn’t seem to matter. The changes weren’t that big, I’d bet I’m still doing just fine. Then I pulled out my shorts for the summer. They fit but just barely. Hmm. I think maybe I should go back to a weekly meeting and see what the damage has been. I was not surprised to see the scale register a number I hadn’t seen in years. I was disappointed in myself but I didn’t beat myself up. I was ready to start again.

I was thinking how this very thing happens in my faith life as well. I am a Lifetime member of God’s family. But there are times when I am not at my most faithful. I let old habits creep back into my life. First I skip a Sunday or two of church attendance. Then I give up a little quiet time. Finally it’s doesn’t seem to matter anymore. I know I am doing it but the change happens so gradually I am at ease. Till one day I try to connect with God in prayer and find it really hard. I am out of shape but I am not surprised. I have given up so much of God in my life it’s hard for me to find Him again. Of course He never left. I am disappointed with myself but I don’t beat myself up. I know God will take me in any shape I am. I am ready to start again.

This week after my weigh in I bought the new Weight Watcher cookbook. I found many new recipes to spark my interest. I was excited about trying some new things. I have eaten better this week than I have in a long time. And it was all so delicious. I could just kick myself for not having enjoyed these yummy foods all along. Oh well, I’m doing it now.

When I am trying to return to a closer connection to God sometimes it helps to get excited again about why I wanted to have Him around in the first place. This can take many forms. I can find a spark at choir practice when I really listen to what I am singing. I can get excited about a sermon that hits me where I am. I find comfort and connection in the simplest places, reading the Upper Room every night, walking to work and taking time to breathe on the way, and just listen to God in the morning. I could kick myself for not enjoying God in my life daily. But I am doing it now.

Posted 5/9/2006 @ 8:07 PM | Weekly Thoughts